Okay, so for a while I locked myself out of my own blog; this is just as embarrassing as it sounds. But I found the keys, so to speak, and I'm gonna try and not lose them again.
As a fairly introverted person by nature, blogging is not quite my strong suit, but I'm also a writer, and so the two kinda cancel out. Like many so-called introverts, I can get quite rowdy among friends or when engaged in passionate conversation, but I have to be good and comfortable or good and drunk for that to happen. However, when I write, it's like a whole 'nother part of brain is involved (which scientifically is the case, I'm pretty damn sure), and I can bypass my shyness and go right for the dreaded 'overshare', where I quickly cross the line into uncomfortable territory.
The cool thing is, that's kind of a creator's job, or at least it's the kind of work that I enjoy the most. And the fact is, if you study any creative person's output long enough, you start to see a few themes recur, and if you look really, REALLY close, it's like they've opened up the top of their heads and handed you a magnifying glass.
Whether you're a writer, actor, photographer, dancer or whatever, when you share your art with the world, you're always a little bit naked; it's like the dreams I still sometimes have where I'm back in high school and I discover I don't have any pants, and I have to figure out how the hell I'm gonna get home without anyone noticing. That frightening feeling disappears when you wake up, but for the artisitc person, it never truly goes away. So what you have to do is develop the confidence to conjure up a pair of 'magic pants'; you know they're not really there, but if you're lucky, you can fool yourself into believing they're real, enough to walk outside and strut yourself. It's almost like the Emperor's new clothes, but you're actually in on the gag.
I love writing and I love acting and improvising, and I want to do a lot more of these things; now if you'll excuse me, I need to walk around a bit without any pants.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Monday, May 17, 2010
What the-? D'oh!
So I was let go from my job at FTD today; what a month this has been! On the one hand, it sucks to be unemployed yet again this year, but on the other, I really hated that job. I'm going to try and focus on getting something much better as quickly as possible, and continue enjoying my Aetna coverage up until the end of the month.
Later!
Later!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The State of Things (spoiler alert: things are good!)
So it's a lazy Sunday and I'm feeling pretty good; my health concerns are looking to be much less serious than I had initially feared, my new class at Second City is excellent and the sun is in the sky. I think I hit bottom last week, with my toes touching the bottom of the pool, but I am back, baby! Right now my main concern is getting my financial situation straightened out, but creatively and emotionally I am feeling very, very good right now, and it's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel again.
On Saturday, I had my first day of class (sadly I missed the first official day due to work at crappy FTD), and it was so great to see everyone in my group again. Level 3 of the Conservatory is all about styles, and we practiced two yesterday, Shakespeare and Office. The first is pretty much exactly what you think it would be, but the second one was also cool. The improvisers are sat in chairs spread across the room in imaginary cubicles, and we all take turns IMing each other as though we're all coworkers in the same office (reminded me of my time working at Hewitt!). You start to develop relationships like who's your office buddy, who's your rival/enemy, who's the boss, etc, and then after a few minutes of that, you remove the chairs and to a series of interrelated scenes as a montage based on the stuff you all created during the fake IMing.
Of the two, I prefered the Shakespeare, which makes sense because I love his plays, have recently been watching them via Netflix and reading up on them, plus 30+ years of D&D also helps. I got very strong feedback from the rest of my class and instructor, especially my portrayal of Prince Andy in the tragedy 'The Winter's Chill'. I often have trouble playing high status characters (i.e. fathers, bosses, captains, etc), but folks were very impressed with my regal awesomeness. We all had fun and our teacher Jack really loved the stuff we came up with, so it's looking like we might do one of those on stage this term, which would totally rock!
I'll post again soon!
Prince Andy (aka Bob K)
On Saturday, I had my first day of class (sadly I missed the first official day due to work at crappy FTD), and it was so great to see everyone in my group again. Level 3 of the Conservatory is all about styles, and we practiced two yesterday, Shakespeare and Office. The first is pretty much exactly what you think it would be, but the second one was also cool. The improvisers are sat in chairs spread across the room in imaginary cubicles, and we all take turns IMing each other as though we're all coworkers in the same office (reminded me of my time working at Hewitt!). You start to develop relationships like who's your office buddy, who's your rival/enemy, who's the boss, etc, and then after a few minutes of that, you remove the chairs and to a series of interrelated scenes as a montage based on the stuff you all created during the fake IMing.
Of the two, I prefered the Shakespeare, which makes sense because I love his plays, have recently been watching them via Netflix and reading up on them, plus 30+ years of D&D also helps. I got very strong feedback from the rest of my class and instructor, especially my portrayal of Prince Andy in the tragedy 'The Winter's Chill'. I often have trouble playing high status characters (i.e. fathers, bosses, captains, etc), but folks were very impressed with my regal awesomeness. We all had fun and our teacher Jack really loved the stuff we came up with, so it's looking like we might do one of those on stage this term, which would totally rock!
I'll post again soon!
Prince Andy (aka Bob K)
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Darkness! (aka 'This time, it's personal')
Hello again!
Well today has been an emotional rollercoaster....well, maybe more like a log flume, because it's mostly been down with just a little bit of up. My money situation is as worse as it's ever been, I've had a few health scares this week and today it all just hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had a near-complete breakdown in the shower this morning. I'm talking bawling, sobbing, screaming, cursing and railing against the heavens. I asked out loud if I'd been Josef Stalin in a past life to deserve the crap I felt piling up on my shoulders all week. For the first time in a long time I felt genuinely suicidal thoughts, only to yell out, "No! No! No! No!"
Back when I was thirteen years old, I was in a deep black funk, something I've dealt with on and off my whole life really, and I decided I was going to take my own life. I was going to swallow a handful of Dristan tablets and just end it all, make the pain stop. I was in the middle of composing my suicide note when my Mom came back from a walk with Pete Grinstead, a family friend.
The funny thing is, I was mostly embarrassed by the discovery, and endured my mom's hugs and kisses and apologized for even considering such a thing. Also she said the pills probably wouldn't even of killed me, just make me puke. That night I wrote a sort of letter to myself that I signed, vowing I would never take my own life, due to the hurt it would cause others left behind.
So yeah, this morning I was back down there again, and me shouting 'No!' was to reminder myself of my vow; despite all its many hardships, life is still worth living and a most wonderful gift that we often take for granted. I took the day off work (possibly a mistake, but I could not face those people) and logged onto the internet to chat with friends. It really helped me shift my focus to more positive things. So thank you, Mr Internet, for making my day!
Well today has been an emotional rollercoaster....well, maybe more like a log flume, because it's mostly been down with just a little bit of up. My money situation is as worse as it's ever been, I've had a few health scares this week and today it all just hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had a near-complete breakdown in the shower this morning. I'm talking bawling, sobbing, screaming, cursing and railing against the heavens. I asked out loud if I'd been Josef Stalin in a past life to deserve the crap I felt piling up on my shoulders all week. For the first time in a long time I felt genuinely suicidal thoughts, only to yell out, "No! No! No! No!"
Back when I was thirteen years old, I was in a deep black funk, something I've dealt with on and off my whole life really, and I decided I was going to take my own life. I was going to swallow a handful of Dristan tablets and just end it all, make the pain stop. I was in the middle of composing my suicide note when my Mom came back from a walk with Pete Grinstead, a family friend.
The funny thing is, I was mostly embarrassed by the discovery, and endured my mom's hugs and kisses and apologized for even considering such a thing. Also she said the pills probably wouldn't even of killed me, just make me puke. That night I wrote a sort of letter to myself that I signed, vowing I would never take my own life, due to the hurt it would cause others left behind.
So yeah, this morning I was back down there again, and me shouting 'No!' was to reminder myself of my vow; despite all its many hardships, life is still worth living and a most wonderful gift that we often take for granted. I took the day off work (possibly a mistake, but I could not face those people) and logged onto the internet to chat with friends. It really helped me shift my focus to more positive things. So thank you, Mr Internet, for making my day!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I've been away for so long...
Greetings, world at large! So sorry I have done all of nada on this blog for a while, but my head's kinda been up my butt. During the winter months I tend to slide into a bleak seasonal depression, whioch makes me loads o9f fun to be around. I was also fired from my job back in January, which has had all sorts of life-changing ramifications.
But by and large, life is good again; I'm in the Second City Conservatory program here in Chi-town, and the number of new ideas that I've come up with for the comic is truly staggering. Due to lack of funds I was unable to attend the C2E2 this month, but I was far from ready to present anything anyway.
Look for more posts in the days to come!
But by and large, life is good again; I'm in the Second City Conservatory program here in Chi-town, and the number of new ideas that I've come up with for the comic is truly staggering. Due to lack of funds I was unable to attend the C2E2 this month, but I was far from ready to present anything anyway.
Look for more posts in the days to come!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Meet the Lhan-Gar!
"And why do the all the Lhan-Gar have microwave ovens for heads?"
(laughter)
"These guys say they're weapons, but who exactly are they fighting with these things? Have they declared war on Orville Redenbacher or something?"
(laughter)
Jay Leno, Tonight Show monologue transcript, 11/13/96
We know very little about the Lhan-Gar, and can only make educated guesses based on casual observation (no Lhan-Gar has ever volunteered for a Terran examination) and a few brief comments gathered by other Alliance members working with them in field. Very little video footage of these immense creatures exists and they’ve only visited our world once, so the information provided below is rather sketchy.
First of all, it is understood that 'Lhan-Gar' is not the name of an actual race, but rather refers to a warrior caste or clan that members of an unnamed race belong to, and have for many generations; it is unknown if other races may join this order, but none of the other three Allied races have ever been asked to join, and future invitations seem unlikely, considering the thinly-veiled contempt these warriors apparently hold for all other lifeforms.
In general body type, the Lhan-Gar are said to somewhat resemble carnivorous theropod dinosaurs such as Tyrannosaurus Rex, with a length of about 30 feet from tip to tail, and a height of about 10 feet at the hip. Their massive hind legs allow them to run at great speed, reportedly up to 30 miles an hour, counterbalanced by their long and heavy tails. Their forelimbs are much smaller, but unlike terrestrial theropods they have considerable muscle mass; each 'hand' ends in four razor-clawed 'fingers', joined by tissue up to the proximal phalanges to create two sub-fingers split halfway down with talons at the ends of all four tips. Lhan-Gar posses no opposable digits of their own, but wear strong metal wristbands with a thick stubby claw that works as a sort of ‘mock thumb’ for the purpose of gripping large objects; this means they have almost no fine dexterity at all. Their skins are described as being mottled in a wide variety of colors, mostly browns, olives, light yellows and deep reds.
However, the most striking thing about these gigantic warriors are their heads, or rather what we see of their heads, which is practically nothing; all Lhan-Gar wear gleaming metal helmets that completely obscure their features. A Lhan-Gar refers to this helm as its warface or just 'my face', and it is a disgrace punishable by death to be seen without it. The warface serves many functions; it allows the Lhan-Gar to breathe our atmosphere, the heavy smooth top is frequently used for devastating ramming attacks (mostly seen by other Alliance members in lethal ritualized duels), and it contains a wide array of microwave-based technology. The Lhan-Gar use bounced microwaves to 'see', broadcast microwaves to communicate with each other and other races (via radio0, and focused microwaves to 'cook' their enemies up to a range of 20 feet.
It has been noted by many that based on their lack of fine manipulation, the Lhan-gar could not have built their own tools or technology, especially the warface, and this has led to widespread speculation. Some experts believe that all Lhan-Gar are of one gender, possibly male, and that the other 'female' gender is smaller and kept locked away inside their giant starships, developing and repairing all the equipment; it has been pointed out that these gender assignments are inherently chauvinistic, and like the Terran lion, perhaps the warriors who go out on the hunt are all female, and others state that applying Terran genders to an alien race is a mistake in and of itself. Another theory is that other species are perhaps subjugated and forced into performing these tasks for the warriors; until the Lhan-gar let any of the other Alliance races onto their vessels, we may never know the truth, but human groups of many kinds are closely watching them for possible ‘sentient’s rights’ violations.
One last very curious attribute of this race has to do with their social relationships with other races, and it's really quite extraordinary; unless they see an individual as being anywhere close to being their ‘equal’, they appear to be unable to perceive them. We are unsure if this cultural or actually developmental, but it has been reported a few times: a Lhan-Gar blithely trampling or knocking aside a human with complete indifference. Once an individual has proven themselves to a Lhan-Gar, he will suddenly be 'seen' by that warrior, and bizarrely enough every one he meets after that, possibly due to some sort of mass microwave broadcast. Members of the Alliance have spoken of this process, and sheepishly admit they are among the few humans the Lhan-gar even acknowledge to exist.
Next time: Meet the Nameless!
(laughter)
"These guys say they're weapons, but who exactly are they fighting with these things? Have they declared war on Orville Redenbacher or something?"
(laughter)
Jay Leno, Tonight Show monologue transcript, 11/13/96
We know very little about the Lhan-Gar, and can only make educated guesses based on casual observation (no Lhan-Gar has ever volunteered for a Terran examination) and a few brief comments gathered by other Alliance members working with them in field. Very little video footage of these immense creatures exists and they’ve only visited our world once, so the information provided below is rather sketchy.
First of all, it is understood that 'Lhan-Gar' is not the name of an actual race, but rather refers to a warrior caste or clan that members of an unnamed race belong to, and have for many generations; it is unknown if other races may join this order, but none of the other three Allied races have ever been asked to join, and future invitations seem unlikely, considering the thinly-veiled contempt these warriors apparently hold for all other lifeforms.
In general body type, the Lhan-Gar are said to somewhat resemble carnivorous theropod dinosaurs such as Tyrannosaurus Rex, with a length of about 30 feet from tip to tail, and a height of about 10 feet at the hip. Their massive hind legs allow them to run at great speed, reportedly up to 30 miles an hour, counterbalanced by their long and heavy tails. Their forelimbs are much smaller, but unlike terrestrial theropods they have considerable muscle mass; each 'hand' ends in four razor-clawed 'fingers', joined by tissue up to the proximal phalanges to create two sub-fingers split halfway down with talons at the ends of all four tips. Lhan-Gar posses no opposable digits of their own, but wear strong metal wristbands with a thick stubby claw that works as a sort of ‘mock thumb’ for the purpose of gripping large objects; this means they have almost no fine dexterity at all. Their skins are described as being mottled in a wide variety of colors, mostly browns, olives, light yellows and deep reds.
However, the most striking thing about these gigantic warriors are their heads, or rather what we see of their heads, which is practically nothing; all Lhan-Gar wear gleaming metal helmets that completely obscure their features. A Lhan-Gar refers to this helm as its warface or just 'my face', and it is a disgrace punishable by death to be seen without it. The warface serves many functions; it allows the Lhan-Gar to breathe our atmosphere, the heavy smooth top is frequently used for devastating ramming attacks (mostly seen by other Alliance members in lethal ritualized duels), and it contains a wide array of microwave-based technology. The Lhan-Gar use bounced microwaves to 'see', broadcast microwaves to communicate with each other and other races (via radio0, and focused microwaves to 'cook' their enemies up to a range of 20 feet.
It has been noted by many that based on their lack of fine manipulation, the Lhan-gar could not have built their own tools or technology, especially the warface, and this has led to widespread speculation. Some experts believe that all Lhan-Gar are of one gender, possibly male, and that the other 'female' gender is smaller and kept locked away inside their giant starships, developing and repairing all the equipment; it has been pointed out that these gender assignments are inherently chauvinistic, and like the Terran lion, perhaps the warriors who go out on the hunt are all female, and others state that applying Terran genders to an alien race is a mistake in and of itself. Another theory is that other species are perhaps subjugated and forced into performing these tasks for the warriors; until the Lhan-gar let any of the other Alliance races onto their vessels, we may never know the truth, but human groups of many kinds are closely watching them for possible ‘sentient’s rights’ violations.
One last very curious attribute of this race has to do with their social relationships with other races, and it's really quite extraordinary; unless they see an individual as being anywhere close to being their ‘equal’, they appear to be unable to perceive them. We are unsure if this cultural or actually developmental, but it has been reported a few times: a Lhan-Gar blithely trampling or knocking aside a human with complete indifference. Once an individual has proven themselves to a Lhan-Gar, he will suddenly be 'seen' by that warrior, and bizarrely enough every one he meets after that, possibly due to some sort of mass microwave broadcast. Members of the Alliance have spoken of this process, and sheepishly admit they are among the few humans the Lhan-gar even acknowledge to exist.
Next time: Meet the Nameless!
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